Bacon.

I recently discovered turkey bacon! Wow. It tastes very similar to REAL Bacon and it's a lot better for you! Meat in a frying pan sizzling doesn't really seem appetizing at first to an ex-vegetarian, but after the cooking part is over, the salty, crispy strips are one of my guilty pleasures. Eating bacon is part of my SSB (Secret Single Behavior) Repertoire. There is something incredibly raunchy and grotesque about this breakfast food. I prefer eating bacon while wearing something extremely delicate like lace or satin. The mix of raunchy, crispy meat strips juxtaposed with some fine femininity makes me giddy. This potpourri of imagery was probably the impetus for BLTs and bacon bits, yes, bacon bits, the salty little bits of meat that Americans pour on salads. Leave it up to us in the west to smother a salty meaty snack atop a delicate leaf of green lettuce. Appreciating the breakfast food and the raunchiness of the culture around bacon will allow for the appreciation of my cat, Bacon.

Bacon is a silly, little brown tiger kitty. He believes his spirit animals are the Tiger and the Wolf and his favorite musicians are Justin Timberlake and Johnny Cash. In a past life, Bacon was an explorer, a mad scientist and a car mechanic. Mr. Bit is a little faggy. He prances around the house and flamboyantly paws at objects on table tops and knocks them on the ground until you pay attention to him.

It is especially fun when he does this at 4 in the morning...